Come Morning Light

Adella was going a little stir crazy. A lot of stir crazy actually. A whole lot. In the beginning of their marriage she enjoyed every moment Andre was out of the house and she had time alone without him near her. It was also the same time where she had slept at the very edge of the bed to not be close to him at night and did much maneuvering around the kitchen to keep as far away from him as she could. But now…things were different. When he had told her he was leaving for a few days on business she hadn’t been very fazed; she was comfortable now enough with English to at least manage fair enough, she knew her way around the house and campus and she had a few friends, she didn’t see anything the matter with him being gone. But after the first night, it was torture! She missed cuddling against him at night after they made love, and missed him making breakfast and having him come home from work and giving him a big kiss and asking him how his day was. Being alone in the house just overall sucked.

She had obsessively called him, until she realized he was either too tired or not a phone person, because he didn’t speak much so she stopped calling to not bother him. Everything was fine in her mind, she missed him like crazy but she knew soon he would be home. That was until she got ideas in her head. In her math class she really didn’t know anyone well, but there were a few girls she talked with from time to time, the type of girls that if Adella knew any better would be classified as the high school bitchy cheerleader types. One day they were grouped together to do a quiz and in conversation Adella mentioned her husband was on a business trip. Well, once the girls got over the fact she was so young to be married and that she was married to a professor, they started to put bad thoughts in her head that Andre was most likely not on a business trip. Adella shot them down and didn’t want to believe them but…it started to get to her.

In her village, cheating for men was very common. Marriages were more then not arranged, it was a well-known secret that many men strayed from their wives so the idea that Andre may be cheating suddenly wasn’t so farfetched for her. It sent her a little bonkers about this but she kept telling her it couldn’t be, not Andre, not stoic, warm, secretly playful Andre who told her she was beautiful more times then she could count. But could it be so? Could he be unfaithful? If he was there was nothing she could do, she was to be quiet and let it happen…but it broke her heart. The night he was to come back she paced all around the house, cleaning and re-cleaning everything to just try and calm her nerves, but nothing helped.

She was upstairs dusting…for the fifth time….when she heard the door open downstairs. She paused and looked towards the stairs, holding her breath. She knew it was him, of course it was, but she didn’t know if she was ready to face him. Would he smell like another woman? Would he behave differently? Would he be happy to see her or look upset that he had returned to his boring, arranged-to-marry wife? She had missed him, terribly so, but now she had hesitations. She put down the cloth she had been dusting with and washed her hands quickly before going downstairs to greet her hopefully not cheating husband. As she went down the stairs she told herself it was going to be fine. Of course Andre wasn’t cheating! He was going to be the same, exact person that he was when he left. He’d hug her and spin her around, they’ll kiss and tell each other how much they missed each other, he would eat then they’d spend a glorious night in bed together. That was what was going to happen. A smile spread on her lips and she skipped down the stairs quickly, her face lit up as she reached the base and went into the kitchen to see him and…

Her face fell immediately. This…what…he…what?! She gawked at him, her eyes wide in horror. His…what had he done to his hair?! Where was the furry bushman she had gotten married too? And he wasn’t even beaming from ear to ear, he looked tired and not very excited to be home. She stood there a few feet away, just staring at him “What did you do?” She asked in shock, slowly looking him over then back to his face. She took a few steps toward him, motioning to his face where there was supposed to be hair! “Your…beard…your…” She was speechless! He wasn’t supposed to be different! He was supposed to be the same Andre who left, where she hadn’t had any suspicious of cheating…but now they were back.

His hair short, his accent thicker, he…she didn’t know, something about him was just different. Was she crazy? Was she making it up? She just felt like something was off about him, besides the obvious. “Itchy” She said the word dead panned, blinking at him. He shaved because he was…itchy. He shaved because he was itchy?! At first she had hated his beard and his long hair but now…now it was a shock. She had grown very fond of his bushiness and now he was…shaved. When he wrapped his arms around her she put her own around his neck, burying her face against his shoulder as she spun him. But it just…was it the shock of his hair that had her thrown or was he really acting differently? She nodded “I missed you” Of course she missed him, insanely missed him and she would have been far, far more bubbly and enthusiastic if…if he wasn’t different.

She kissed him back, closing her eyes briefly. “Mmm?” She questioned back after he spoke into the kiss, opening her eyes when he leaned back, raising a hand to touch his face and her forced smile fell quickly back into a frown. He wasn’t her Andre anymore…she pouted some without realizing, brushing her fingers against his stubble. When he tossed her the doll she catched it and made a confused face at his statement ”What is it?” It looked like a doll but…different. Just like he looked like Andre but was different. She couldn’t get over it. She stood and looked at the things he brought out, though her eyes kept going to stare at his face, trying to figure out what else about him changed. When he handed her the box she set the doll-thing down gently and took the box “Of me?” She repeated curiously before opening the box and gasping when she saw the necklace. “Andre” She said in surprise. It was…it was so beautiful! “It is the loveliest thing I have ever seen!” She grinned “It is gorgeous, I have never seen anything like it it…I love it” She giggled before pausing, looking at all the gifts, the necklace then him and suddenly looked curious “Why so many gifts…?”

All he had to say was black magic and she dropped the doll so fast it was like it burned her. She was a fairy, all her life she had been taught magic was evil, which was why her powers had been frowned upon. She had been learning at school about “black” magic as well, magic that wasn’t good…so for him to use those words and that they were associated with the doll, freaked her out. ”It is cursed? Why would you give me something that was cursed?!” She didn’t understand what voodoo was, she had never heard of it, so this took her completely by surprise. A toy didn’t put hex’s on people! She then looked offended for a moment “I wouldn’t put a curse on you. Why would you say that?” Why did he think she’d put a curse on him? Unless he thought he did something to deserve a curse…had he done something that he thought would warrant her being angry enough to use the little evil doll?

She let him kiss her forehead even as she continued to frown and look uncertain about all these gifts. The necklace was so beautiful…he had yet to give her something like this…so why now? He missed her? She was used of him bringing her things but this necklace…She looked down and admired it’s beauty and wish she could enjoy it more without a dark cloud over her head. She shook her head “I’m not acting strange” She muttered, looking at him with suspicion in her eyes “Why are you acting strange?” She asked back, searching his face “I would call you and you barely spoke to me….you didn’t tell me you cut away your hair. You never told me all the things you did every day. And now you come home with…with this…” She looked down to the beautiful necklace and kept her gaze down “…guilty men give gifts like this”

She frowned when he grew defensive, wondering why. Not hurt or simply confused but defensive, like he was upset she would say such a thing but only because she had figured him out. Yes, Adella was seeing crazy things that weren’t actually real…she was a wife. “I do not know. You tell me” She didn’t want to outright say it…of course not. She couldn’t just accuse him of cheating, she would feel far too odd just blurting out her fears. But he had to admit it…how could he cheat on her and not just admit it? It hurt her that he would betray her and then behave like nothing was wrong. She just wanted him to say it if it had happened. Just be out in the open. She shook her head “It wouldn’t have bored me. I want to know about your life and the things you do. You barely told me anything about this trip even before you left and nothing during it. I asked, you wouldn’t speak in either situation. Why? Why be so secretive about it if it was just a business trip?”

She set the box with the necklace on the kitchen counter, gazing at it for a few moments again before her eyes raised to him and his beer. “Not gifts like this. You’ve never given me anything like this” Not this…nice. It looked very expensive. The girls in her class had told her cheating men bought their wives very nice things to keep them distracted…or to be mutely paying them off so they wouldn’t pick a fight about their husbands cheating. Having him be so upset made her feel guilty for bringing it up. And she fiddled with her hands, looking down and shifted from one foot to another. But she sucked in a breath and gave him a look “I was aghast because of your hair!” She motioned to his face “You just…you cut it all off. You don’t look like yourself and I dropped it because you told me it had to do with black magic. It frightened me”

“Why do you not like it? If you have nothing to hide it should not bother you” Oh if her mother had been here to hear her…her poor mom would have had a heart attack. Wives did not speak back to their husbands like this in her village. They didn’t start fights or question, they were quiet and even if they knew there husband was doing something wrong, they didn’t speak of it. But Adella had gotten very comfortable with Andre and he had been the one to encourage her to speak her mind and not be whimpering and simpering like she had started out as. But still she had some reservations…she was arguing but keeping her voice cautious and her body a safe distance from him. “Not every detail but…you just don’t open up to me. Your business is important to you, you don’t speak of it to me. You went back home and told me nothing of what you were feeling…isn’t that what a husband and wife should do? Speak to one another?”

She sighed, not knowing what to say without…saying it, but she didn’t know how to get around the true words she wanted to speak. She kept her gaze down for a while then looked up at him with sadness in her eyes “Did you cheat on me?” She asked softly, her voice cracking “Were you with any other women while you were in Louisiana? Tell me the truth” As she spoke the words though she started to get upset and turned away “You did, didn’t you? Why wouldn’t you…you were forced to marry me. And you go back home with people you know, women you know….” She shook her head and walked off into the living room to try and gather herself.

She shook her head “Why? I’m your wife. You can’t even bring yourself to speak to me about the elements in your life? I tell you about mine. Is it so hard to talk to me about the restaurants you manage? About the friends you saw? About the tasks you did? It isn’t difficult, Andre. Is it such a burden to speak to me?” It wasn’t a bore to her, did he not see that? She loved when he told her those things, no matter how trivial he thought it was, it was important to her. It made her feel special when he told her things about his life, like she wasn’t just…there for the sake of being there. She crossed her arms and pouted “Did you act that way with your first wife? Or just me”

When he cursed she flinched, she didn’t like those harsh words. She went to the couch and sat down, running a hand through her hair stressfully. “They told me signs…you were tense and acting strange before you left. You don’t want to talk to me on the phone. You come home and try to give me an extravagant gift and then when I accuse you, you automatically get angry at me for it ever so quickly. What am I supposed to think when you behave like this?” She looked at him with tears in her eyes “You don’t love me, you didn't choose me…there is nothing to make you not stray”

When he got so angry when she mentioned his first wife she jolted, knowing she shouldn’t have done that, she should know better but she was so upset she didn’t even know what she was doing or saying. A few months ago she would have been thrilled he was cheating! It would have meant he was going to leave her alone and she wouldn’t have to be around her furry, stoic strange husband…but now? Now it was breaking her heart. She loved him, ever so deeply she had come to love him even though she had never told him that and to be honest she wasn’t even certain what she felt was truly love since she had never experienced it before. She tried so hard to do everything to be as perfect as she could to make him happy, so for him to possibly not be happy with her and be going to another women…the mere thought was driving her this crazy.

“They are…are…friends. Doesn’t matter who they are.” She said, so not going into the whole back story of who these girls were that told her all of these signs and put the seed of doubt in her head. When he said he did love her, her face whipped to stare at him hard. What did he just say? They had never exchanged I love you’s, the L word was never ever used since they got married…so it threw her very off to hear him just say it like that so casual, even though it hadn’t been a direct I love you. When he went off to the kitchen again she looked away down at her hands. She shouldn’t have brought it up…but the girls said if he wasn’t cheating he’d be sad and be begging her to believe him, but if he was guilty he’d get defensive and pissed off. Hot tears started erupting from her eyes as she sat there, not knowing what to do.

After a few moments she just got up and ran upstairs crying. She didn’t want to stay here tonight, not after a fight, because all they would do is keep fighting and be awkward and she was convinced he was cheating so…she just needed to get away. It broke her that he came home after she missed him so much and now she was leaving but, she wasn’t thinking rationally. She grabbed her purse and a jacket and came back downstairs and headed for the door quickly to hide the flood of tears “I’ll go stay with Tristian tonight…”

She stopped when he told her too, just standing infront of the door and hiding her face from him, fidgeting as she stood there and listened to him. She had never been married before, never had a relationship. He had experience with these things, how to handle fights and words and fears, she hadn’t a clue. She knew how she had approached this was totally wrong, just blurting it out and automatically accusing him had been the absolutely worse thing she could have done, but it had just…came out and now she couldn’t stop it. What she wanted now was to just run away and talk to Tristian, she had a relationship, maybe she could guide her better…but she knew maybe she should have just asked Tristian’s opinion before instead of just listening to the girls in her class. Why did she listen to them? They just got to her. Their expressions and eye rolls and faces…it had all eaten at her until she was convinced.

She turned to look at him, her lips trembling until she just started to burst out in sobs “I’m sorry” She cried, feeling the stress in her body just building and building “I don’t know I…they told me all these things and I just listened to them and I don’t know why, I don’t. I don’t want to accuse you! Nothing you’ve done has broken my trust in you! But…but when I think of you I think…why wouldn’t he cheat! Why not?!” She leaned back against the door, her voice almost hysterical with the sobs that kept coming “I see the way women look at you, and the way people look at me when I say our marriage was arranged. So many men in my village are forced to marry other girls and they may treat them well but it doesn’t mean anything. They don’t love them. There not who they wanted so they sneak behind their wives back’s to women they do want! And the women don’t do anything, they keep their mouths shut because they don’t care! They don’t care because they don’t love their husbands either! But I do. I love you. I love you and I fear every day you’ll just look at me and not want me like everyone has always not wanted me”

She shook her head and then looked down, covering her face as she cried and just felt...stupid. Stupid to be telling him this and she just wanted to go so she didn't have to see his expression and hear his words telling her she was as silly as the child she thought she was. She turned away from him and tried to go out the door again, thinking that was probably what he wanted.

She tensed when he got close and touched her. He had been so angry with her she didn’t know what to expect, maybe for him to shake her or pin her to the wall or…she didn’t know, but not to hold her like he did, it took her completely by surprise. When he whispered in her ear more tears fell from her eyes. She felt awful…she didn’t even understand why she was acting so crazy like this but…yes, actually she did know. It was love, love she knew enough about to know it made people crazy and irrational. All it took was just a little thought, a simple maybe he could be cheating and it blew up into this long, intricate made up story in her head that he had been with another woman while he was away because he was so bored with her that he needed escape. He had told her before he wouldn’t hurt her and yet she never seemed to get the point. She was just used to people hurting her, used to not being important that she felt to Andre he had to feel the same.

She let him turn her and she looked up at him meekly, her lips trembling in a pout as she tried to stop the tears but they kept flowing. When he called her stupid she knew he was kidding but she looked down, just feeling terrible for blowing up on him like she did. She shook her head at his question, sniffling a few times as she stared down at the floor. “I’m sorry” She repeated sadly “I’m sorry…” She looked at him “Do you…do you want me to leave?” Maybe he just didn’t want her around for a little while since she had angered him so much, wanted her out of his sight. She knew she wouldn’t want to look at herself if she was him.

Adella didn’t mean to be difficult…she was just overwhelmed with all of this. From accusing him, to them arguing, guilt and embarrassment, crying, him forgiving her so easily…she was just a bit of a mess right now. She looked uncertain when he said no, like she thought he really wanted to say yes “You don’t want time alone away from me?” She asked, as if she was shocked by this. Her step-father and mother hardly ever argued and the arguments could hardly be called that, but when they did he sent her away out of his sight for at least a day. That he wanted her to stay even after what she had done was mind boggling. She leaned against him after he kissed her forehead, putting her arms around his neck and reached up on her tiptoes to bury her face into his neck.

“I’m sorry” She said again, just not knowing what else to say or do to make up for what she had accused him of. “I did miss you, I missed you so much. The bed was cold and the house was too quiet…” She murmured against his skin, breathing in deeply and gently started to brush her fingertips against the back of his hair…though there wasn’t much to touch now like before. She pouted at this but she took what she had. “I still wish you hadn’t cut your hair…you no longer look like my burly mountain man”

“Because you’re mad at me…” She said meekly. Of course he was mad…she was mad at herself for accusing him and for letting those girls get inside her head and tell her what her husband was doing when they didn’t even know him. Looking at him know it was so ridiculous to think he was cheating. Her sweet, loving Andre? Him cheat? She was acting stupid. He’d never do such a thing. She smiled softly and chuckled sadly against his neck “Even after I acted like a selfish fool?” She asked, knowing she had ruined his homecoming. She sighed softly “Don’t ever leave again…promise” She didn’t want to be left home alone again, it was obvious when she was all that happened was very bad thoughts in her head.

She made a face “I know but…it was longer when it started to matter” She sunk her hands in his hair and gave him more of a smile. She meant of course when they started to have sex, she had come to love his longer hair and his beard and now it was all gone. When he kissed her she sunk into it, closing her eyes and sighing blissfully, then gripping him as it turned more passionate. She would never be so stupid again…he was the perfect husband, nothing like the men from her village. She had to remember that. “I love you” She whispered against his mouth, wanting to tell him so he knew how she felt, and not have the first time she spoke the words have been crying and yelling at him.

She thought it was cute the way he talked, she loved when his Cajun accent came out, it was so endearing. She touched his face and giggled, thinking he was just as strange as he thought she was about their customs. She loved when they kissed and the way he touched her, just so happy yet still a bit guilty at how easily he had seemed to forgive her what accusing him of being a lecherous cheat. He really was the best husband in the world, to her he was absolutely perfect and she couldn’t have been any luckier than to have him. She would get used to the hair she supposed…eventually, for now she’d just have to deal with the shortness of it and sank her fingers into it none the less.

When he stopped she frowned and her whole body seemed to pause fearfully. Would he pretend she didn’t say it? Tell her he didn’t love her? Laugh? It seemed like forever passed by until he spoke and when he said the words back she gazed at him happily, a giant smile spreading across her lips. He loved her too. She felt like she could have floated right then and there she felt so elated to hear him say the words back. She stroked his face and nodded “No more fighting” She told him before giving him another kiss and taking his hands, gently tugging him towards the stairs “Let me give you a welcome home celebration” She said playfully